One Bag

As I'm sure you know, when Mr. Turtle travels, he likes to do so with nothing more than what's on his back. In addition to a shell, that's a backpack. Travelling is so much nicer with only a single, easy-to-carry bag. It seems obvious, but I never thought about it until I read One Bag. I didn't really believe it at first, but I was curious enough to try it on my last trip (our turtlemoon), and I wouldn't go back. So I encourage you to check out One Bag, and give it a try.

Woop Woop

I just got Mrs. Turtle the soundtrack to "Welcome to Woop Woop", a very strange movie. It's about a guy who's kind of kidnapped by a bunch of eccentric weirdos in the Australian Outback. It was kind of a comedy, but it's probably a lot funnier if you're Australian. I saw it a few years ago and I don't remember it all that well, but I remember it being more strangely transfixing than good.

The soundtrack was another story. I made a note that Mrs. Turtle (Miss Turtle at the time) would like it, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Luckily, the magical internet has advanced to the point where soundtracks to obscure foreign films are only a click away.

Since the clan of crazies in the movie like to watch Rodgers and Hammerstein movies, many of the songs on the soundtrack are remakes of R&H songs. All of the songs are good, but my favorite is "There is Nothin' Like a Dame" by Reel Big Fish (South Pacific). "I Can't Say No" by Poe (Oklahoma) and "I Got You Babe" by Merril Bainbridge featuring Shaggy (Sonny and Cher) are also very good.


I just received this email from a email address:
HELLO [Mr. Turtle]

Now on to the poll: should I respond? Leave your suggestions as comments.


I always thought that milk lasted a week after its "sell by" date. As it turns out, that's not true, as I learned the hard way. :P For now on, I'm only letting it go 2 or 3 days after the date.


Pumpkin Pooter

A computer mounted inside a real pumpkin! Is it a 'puter-o-lantern?

Amazing 3D Sidewalk Art Photos

Check this out. This guy draws pictures on sidewalks that look 3D when viewed from the correct position.

Correct position:

Incorrect position:

There are even better ones if you follow the link.

Alcohol and Red Bull

Presented without comment:
# Study results show that drinking alcohol and Red Bull® together significantly reduces the perception of headache, weakness, dry mouth and impairment of motor coordination.
# Red Bull® does not, however, significantly reduce alcohol-related deficits on objective measures of motor coordination and visual reaction time.
# People who combine alcohol with energy drinks may be at even greater risk for problems such as automobile accidents because they believe they are unimpaired.


Two days ago I found a wasp hanging out in our tub. Today the window is leaking rain into the apartment. Not a good day for us renters.


The Labor Department recently released a packet of materials to a newspaper. Many of the documents in the packet had words blacked out. One of those documents was an article from that same newspaper, complete with many blacked out words.

This is not just paranoid, it's stupid. It's also wasteful, since someone had to spend time blacking out this information.

UPDATE: T-Bone points out that this was the North Carolina Labor Department, not the federal department of the same name. My bad! I apologize to all the federal Labor Department workers who I slandered. But be careful! I've got my eye on you...

BEAUTIFUL New Template

I'm pretty happy with this newest template. It's a modified version of the "Harbor" template offered by Blogger. I achieved my main goal, which was to allow you (yes, you) to stretch or shrink the window to change the width of the text column. Also, it's pertty. :)

Breaking News: A Newspaper Tells the Truth!

AP: "Bush often lies in his speeches." Seriously, that's the article.


Do anti-abortionists really believe that abortion is evil, or do they just want to punish women for having sex? The following table makes a convincing case:

Ugly New Template

I tried out a new template for the 'ol blog. It's much uglier than I anticipated, so I'll probably change it soon. On the other hand, the main column of text is much wider than in the old template and it scales to the size of the window, so it's not a complete loss.


I read that in emergencies, firefighters and policemen will search cell phones for "ICE" numbers. ICE stands for "In Case of Emergency". For example, if they find a man unconscious on the ground, they will call "ICE wife" on his cell phone. I have "ICE wife", "ICE mom", and "ICE dad" in my cell phone.

Grand Celestial Do : The Fighting Art of the Cosmos

Grand Celestial Do : The Fighting Art of the Cosmos:

"I was driving out in the countryside visiting my grandparents when the abduction took place. I remembered it was approximately 3:30 A.M. There was a blue light in the sky in front of the road. ... Then I saw them. The Visitors. ... They took me to their planet located near the center of the Orion System. I spent 11 years there. They taught me many things. The mission I was given was to teach people on Earth their fighting art."

"[Q:] Do you have any physical proof that you were abducted by aliens and lived on their planet for 11 years?

[A:] It is illegal for me to take any of their technologies and bring them to Earth. One can only guess what disastrous things mankind would use these technologies for. The only physical evidence I have is a mercury-based silicon nodule implanted in my cerebral cortex. ... When I die, I would like for that nodule to be extracted from my body and examined."

"[Q:] Grand Celestial Do uses Photonic Energy as its power source. Is this energy the same as "chi" or "ki" in eastern martial arts?

[A:] Photonic Energy is a totally different type of energy than 'chi' or 'ki' found in Earth-based martial art systems. 'Chi' does exist, but it is a very primitive form of energy and very low on the evolutionary scale. In fact, the Visitors scoffed at the use of "chi," because of how weak it is compared to Photonic Energy."

Cyborg Turtles!

Like I've been telling everyone for years, us turtles are the superior species and you'd all better be nice to us in preparation for our inevitable world conquest. Exhibit 1: cyborg turtles!

The End Is In View

I met with my advisor today and we came up with the contents and order of my dissertation. The end is drawing near. We are deep in Mordor, and Mount Doom can be seen on the horizon.


Plexist asks, "You know, the partially hydrogenated oils in those brand name peanutt butters aren't good for you. Have you tried the "natural" peannutt butters?"

I thought about that, but looking at the nutrition information, it doesn't seem like there's that much difference. Any opinions?

Smucker’s Natural
Size 2 Tbsp. (32 g)
Calories 210
 Calories from Fat 150
Total Fat 16g
 Saturated Fat 2.5g
Cholesterol 0mg
Sodium 120mg
Total Carbohydrate 6g
 Dietary Fiber 2g
 Sugars 1g
Protein 8g
Jif Creamy
Size 2 Tbsp. (32g)
Calories 190
 Calories from Fat 130
Total Fat 16g
 Saturated Fat 3g
Cholesterol 0mg
Sodium 150mg
Total Carbohydrate 7g
 Dietary Fiber 2g
 Sugars 3g
Protein 8g

Google Mars

Pretty cool: Google Mars.

The Torn-Up Credit Card Application

This guy tore a credit card application into small pieces, then taped them together, changed the address and phone number, and mailed it in. A couple weeks later he got a shiny, new credit card. The lesson here is: you must completely shred any credit card applications you don't use. And then burn them. And then eat the ashes. You don't have to do anything to your poop.


Have you ever tossed and turned all night wondering which politicians your favorite sports personalities donated to? Well we have your ticket to a restful night's sleep. Be careful, though. There are a lot of disappointments on that list. They may not be your favorite after you read it.

Also note that the sports icon in that picture with Mr. Turtle is a good guy.

There are other categories, too: celebrities, media, etc. It's kind of surprising how little some of these amazingly rich people donated.

Skinning Spuds

A very cool way to peel a potato. Including a video! Just score the equator of the potato, boil it, then put it in cold water. After a few seconds you can pull the skin off in two halves where you scored it.

Body Customization

The following link could be disturbing, so don't click it unless you're sure you want to see it. People are customizing themselves by having shapes inserted under their skin. Horns, hearts, stars, etc. In the abstract I don't have any problem with it, but I have a lot of trouble looking at the pictures. I think it's because I couldn't handle doing that sort of thing myself. I have enough trouble getting shots... Remind me to tell you about the time the nurse was trying to give me a shot and I kicked her in the face... Ah, good times.


Note: "PB" in the title of the previous post refers to peanut butter, not pudu blogging. I hope to have more regular pudu blogging, but it really depends on how many pudu pictures I can find. I would post my own, but my pudu's in the shop.


Wherein Mr. Turtle responds to comments on his post about peanut butter.

In Mr. Turtle's younger, wilder days, he and his cohorts shopped at Price Club, where Skippy was readily available in 2 ton drums for the price of a cheeseburger. This, plus the fact that Skippy doesn't need to be stirred, is what prompted the switch to Skippy.

Jif contains peanuts, sugar, and 2% or less of molasses, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (soybean), fully hydrogenated vegetable oils (rapeseed and soybean), mono- and diglycerides, and salt. Pretty ugly. On the other hand, that's about a quarter of the number of ingredients on the Roman Meal bread that Mr. Turtle favors. I guess the solution is to get more natural bread to go with the natural peanut butter. Perhaps there will soon be another double-blind study.

The jams we have all have fruit pectin and citric acid. The more natural ones has sugar and cane sugar, while the others have high fructose corn syrup and corn syrup. I don't know which is better.

I guess it's a question of where to draw the line. You don't even want to see the ingredient list on my Captain Crunch.

Furry Sea Cockroaches!

A furry crustacean has been discovered 900 miles off of Easter Island. It is also completely blind.

The Cutest Creature to Ever Roam the Earth

Not just a baby, not just a pudu, but a baby pudu. It's supposed to be at the LA Zoo right now, so I'm trying to figure out how to get down there and see it before it grows up. Not that it has that far to grow. I hope I don't die from an overdose of cuteness.


Click on the picture for more.

Executive Pay

Kevin Drum discusses executive pay, a subject that really chaps my hide. As Kevin mentions, there's no evidence that insanely-compensated CEOs produce better results for their companies than extremely-well-compensated CEOs. As he says,
the compensation of the top five executives at public companies totaled roughly 10 percent of corporate profits, and it's almost a dead certainty that those companies would do better on average to hire competent executives at half the pay and then bank that additional 5%.

Real Life Simpsons

For anyone who hasn't seen it yet, here's a link to a live-action version of the Simpsons introduction. It's pretty well done.


We're a Jif family, but it wasn't always that way. We used to be a Skippy family. I think I remember how it happened...


Back in the day we all ate Skippy. Perhaps that was because a 40-pound drum of Skippy was available at Price Club for $1.03, but we'll never really know for sure. A few months ago we performed a double-blind experiment to see which was best. (Double-blind... Read it and weep!) It was Skippy vs. Honey Roasted Skippy vs. Jif vs. Safeway, all creamy style. The unanimous decision was that Jif won, and by lot. Honey Roasted and Safeway tied for a distant second, and plain Skippy landed in an even distanter fourth. The difference wasn't as noticeable in sandwiches, but Jif still dominated.


And so now we're a Jif family. I sometimes meet people, friends even, who still worship at the altar of Skippy. I try to show them the way, but they don't listen. No, Jif won't ensure you a good reincarnation. No, Jif didn't die for your sins. But try it, you might like it.

Edited to fix typos that a meaning-checker would catch but a spell-checker can not.

Rock on little oven!

Total Eclipse of the Heart, possibly the best music video ever. Played on a guitar and a kitchen.